VICTIM OF MY OWN PRIDE

The glass of wine ,still full and now my desire to obey my thirst ,is killing my nerval  patience ,wondering whether or not it would be worth it , atleast for an hour ,or maybe a day out of my own sane way. Now all that my passion to stand ,breathe and maybe laugh, is cornered by the reality of life. I’ve been in my thoughts for an hour ,or more ,but it is becoming a way of life. I remember how my teacher used to tell me ,how important it is to use my creative thinking ,and later get home and my mum unique high end commanding voices echoed me to use my common sense. Now the common sense and the creative thinking have brought in a friend ,critical thinking ,and filled my mind with nothing but overthinking. They explained and ordered me to be that ,but it’s overwhelming my ability to be me ,to atleast laugh ,maybe smile ,even like a blink of an eye.

All this time I am sitted in the sitting room ,enjoying silent music ,and dancing to the rhythm of my heartbeat ,though not really dancing ,cause my mind is racing ,I guess the heartbeat is nothing not far from a workout song. Workout?  Yes, to get rid of all the unwanted facts of life ,casting all that the heart has been holding on to. Done with the metaphors and riddles ,I’ve been going through my diary ,Yes I have one ,and I write what’s in my mind ,weird I guess ,to find a man doing that from my kind of upbringing ,they say most men who notes their daily life on diaries might be serial killers ,fortunately I am not one ,not even associated with one ,which maybe I might have killed someone else dream in the long-run.

On this dated day ,My alleged girlfriend wakes me up in the middle of the midnight ,her voice so harsh ,and her tone so loud and sounds angry ,she is breathing heavily ,I think she can fire an air balloon ,cause my phone is overheating too. A message pops before she had called ,but before I could even open ,the phone rang ,for the past 5 minute she’s been mentioning only one statement, “ how could you? “ You’re wondering to what really was wrong ,me too ,cause the three-sentenced chorus is becoming more boring. I gathered my courage and asked, “ What have I done?” “Stop pretending you don’t know what you’ve done” could I be mad ,to even listen to lectures, but am hoping she’s just hungry, ‘A hungry man is an angry man.

As I can’t take the lectures ,I decide to keep my sanity busy ,am on to  checking the messages on my messenger ,see who’ve been missing my craziness ,And I can’t help to open the message from her ,and I see a photo ,of me actually never thought I was a cute guy on cameras ,I thought for a minute how my life would be magical ,being a model ,the good lifestyle ,the money ,the fame ,but the fame is where my pride draws the line ,Am an introvert ,thought you should know ,but they mention it always, never say never ,but that’s a dream for my next reincarnation I guess. This company should pay me ,am advertising their product already. I know you’re wondering what the photo is all about!

So this beautiful lady is helping me take a cake bite ,She is beautiful by the way ,I’ve always mentioned that to her ,but probably she turned a deaf ear to that amazing fact. I have a very weird flirting technique ,one I have developed with time ,thanks to her . What’s wrong with the photo? Why is my girlfriend making it a big deal? I refresh my mind to her call.” What’s wrong with the photo? I don’t see the wrong deal with my closest cousin giving me a cake ,infact I invited you to my parents anniversary ,and you bailed on me ,so what’s the point of complaining? “ She slowed her breathing, “ You could have told me ,atleast I wouldn’t have gotten that annoyed for no good reason, I didn’t know she was your cousin,” “ How many times have I invited you for my family gatherings ,and always you claim ,it will appear weird, these are the kind of issues I tend to avoid ,am an introvert out there ,but near my family ,am someone else ,learn that and have a goodnight! “

Immediately I hanged up ,the phone ,thoughts were still ravaging in my mind ,but for a minute ,I had a sign of relief. Why does she has to have all these insecurities ,whereas I have shown her all that she needs to know to believe I adore her? It’s high time I call this relationship off ,am done being the one  mending the cracked walls of our castle ,whereas she is the one causing them. I picked the phone and called her ,it is as if she was expecting my call,” We are done!” and I hang up. She tried calling me for hours I estimate ,even texting me ,but she preferred calling ,cause she understood better how I suck at texting ,unless am writing a letter.

I close the diary and am just wondering ,could I have been the reason for all my breakups? She was just securing her relationship ,making sure it was intact. Rather than  relationship ,how many friendships have I ruined in the name of setting ‘boundaries’ Am truly a total disaster whenever I go ,whatever I touch ,I really don’t deserve to be among people, I am just a burden to everyone around me. It was high time I acknowledge that and think of a way to mend it ,and the only solution is get out of the picture for good ,in a lame-man’s language, commit suicide ,but before I think of an idea of how to go about it ,I have to make sure no one is at home, wait, My sister has been in the bathroom for the last two hours or more. I believe that is very unusual of her ,she is in and out of the bathroom within the first five minutes ,she does not apply make up,she is definitely a natural beauty. I head to the door and knock while calling her name out ,but she was not answering ,and that  really worried me.

I hit the door wide open ,and all that welcomed me was a pool of blood all over the floor ,which in turn mixed with the shower water ,my sister was lying on the floor ,weak ,she couldn’t even talk ,leave alone move a finger. What knowledge of first aid did I have to even wrap a mere cut ,leave alone such a big deal of an accident ,but I wasn’t sure if it was really an accident. Who would I  even call ,cause the last time I checked ,I had sabotaged all my communication devices cutting all ties with everyone except my family ,though I was sure they had noticed my sudden change of character ,been avoiding everyone ,and am not sure if anyone was willing to help someone who for the past couple of days been avoiding them ,but I had no otherwise but to call my alleged bestfriend ,who happened to be my neighbor too . You are wondering why I couldn’t call my mother ,but here is the deal ,on the bathroom floor ,is my sister and on her wrist is a deep-cut wound ,one that was intentionally done by her ,so why would I call a single mother and tell her that her only daughter tried to commit suicide ,though am not sure if she will survive as I wait for my bestfriend ,her pulse is fading and is keeping me worried. I hope she survives ,cause I couldn’t tell what came into her mind to do something like that ,but I can’t blame her ,I was about to do the same thing ,Her situation saved me.

The paramedics were already at our house ,and they were doing their best to make sure she survives. In a fifteen minutes we were already in hospital ,she was now struggling to survive. Questions were just spinning in my head ,why would she do that? She’s very young to be stressed ,I would have thought ,but now I understand it well that ,we all have experience a mental breakdown ,no matter the age ,but I couldn’t now imagine ,if I had not realized earlier ,and if I had taken my final race ,the pain that my mother would endure ,loosing her only two children ,for what ,just because I couldn’t trust anyone to share my problems with? She had been taking night and day shifts just to make sure we stayed in school ,and we never lacked any. I am just a victim of my own pride.

My mother was shouting all over the hospital ,I could hear her from the rooftop where I had gone to get some fresh air ,and try understand the nature of the days scenario . What if I did what I had planned to do? How do I even approach my mother and tell her what’s going on with me ,is it because I fear she might just loudly  wonder what worries me ,whereas she is always providing everything we needed ? The truth rested on that fact though ,her voice was becoming more uneasy already. I am used to my mother exaggerating things ,I knew for sure she would not give the doctors an easy time ,now that her young and only daughter was struggling to live ,but I wouldn’t put it that way ,she was doing her best not to survive. I decided to go downstairs and try sooth my mother down. “  Mom! Please stop ,she’s going to be okay ,the doctors have assured me of that!” I exclaimed “ Are you even listening to yourself ,where have you been in the last twenty minutes?” She cried out, “ rooftop ,cooling my head a bit, why?” I emphasized, “Your sister is dead…”

 

 

WRITTEN BY ALEXANDER KIRUGA  alias ALEXANDER’S MINDKE

SPITTING OUT THE RHETORIC REALITY

 On my last article,we decided on not blaming the government for all the wrinkles,if they are too,we should remind ourselves,we voted them to power. " There is more power in the people than the people in power." Exclaims, Fionah Mburu,founder Greener communities. It is true,we have the power to vote in leaders,stop projects affecting us,but we have let them feed us with fear,and this should stop. 

Every project flagged off by the government has both positive and negative effects,but when the latter takes charge,a solution entitled changes to nothing not far from a future national calamity,but we are yet to experience any first-hand,the reason why I think ignorance runs our bloodflow. Waste disposal has been an issue in Nairobi and its outskirts,and I agree we all wanted a solution,but should a present solution feed a future disaster ? The answer should be NO! but what do we do for it to make an impact,acting to making its word count out there. 

The new sewer-line pipes

The new sewerline system will solve most of  our waste management problem,but did you all know that the bigger part of the line passes adjacent to running rivers? If you didn't,then instill the fact in your head. Who decides on some projects,who signs the papers? cause as far as I know,that shouldn't ever take place,but the most unfortunate part is,it already did,on a report posted by National Environment Management Authority ( NEMA) was concluded with filled questionaires,and one Mr Edward Muriuki gave the relevant observation,but the body turn ignorant cause the project still went on. That speaks volumes,that our voices don't sometimes matter,but I would echo,that the problem is us,no one else,just us. Telling the engineer and the contractor to find a Plan B,is never a big deal,but do we really play our part,asking questions? Relevant conservation bodies and human rights,your fight is not only on the economic world,but also,the right to clean environment,and with that I mean taking care of our environment.

Sewer spilling in a river

" It is always a big shame that many trees will have to be cut down,to pave way for the ambitious project just the same scenerio with SGR crossing wildlife territories." stated Dan Otieno,An Environment conservation enthuthiast. It is becoming an puzzle or a quest to spot a lion in the Nirobi national park,but we are yet to accept that fact. So what makes this sewer different? What pains me is that,I can do nothing now,it is already mounted,who was part of the so-stated public participation? cause,sorry to state,was illiterate,blind and foolish,how could they not see the future of the project is just problems.which I doubt they organised one,not even one person asked apart from Edward whose only observation was recorded on the report,to flower the destructive projects with deception. 

Joannah Stutchbury fighting for Kiambu Forest

Some indeginous trees at the Karura forest were cut down to pave way for the sewer line,if this is the path of the forest and nature follows,then Wangari Maathai's and the likes of Joannah Stutchbury's fight will be nothing but a fairytale to tell our kids and grandchildren. Our voices need to be heard,we need to speak out,we need to act,cause all I think the future holds is a fantasy. Let us all spit out the RHETORIC REALITY that has fed our hopes with fear and lies. 

A mapped section of the sewer-line passing adjacent to rivers

by Alexander Kiruga M 

WHO IS TO BE BLAMED ??

Who is to be blamed for not attaining the 10% forest cover we were to achieve by this 2022 ?

 It has always been a favourite song for conservationist ," road to recovering forest cover " but what is dragging all the efforts drawn towards this constructive goal. I believe you've been to a tree planting event or several,or maybe you've hosted one,but the question is still ringing in our minds with no one to answer but ourselves. Why are we not attaining our targeted reforestation? even though day in day out we are organising campaigns and events involving tree planting. 

A conservation enthuthiast planting trees

We've all been fighting for what we acknowledge as our forest ,our pride. Environmentalist joined in one accord to stop the National Parliament from deleting CLAUSE 34(2) in the 2016 ACT in the Conservation ammendment Bill 2021 . The ammendement would certainly weaken the KENYA FOREST SERVICE which is the body mandated to protect all public forest cover in Kenya. Such issues are what have resulted to us not attaining the targeted 10% forest cover by 2022 from 7.4%. They stated that this would be a door opening to allocate private ordains for development, a move that would be not far from a future calamity.

We are left with one problem to solve,not our politician,our organisations, government bodies but our own responsibility . My question is,in all the trees you plant who follows up on their growth progress,depending on our current kind of climate which is unpredictable,actually is a problem due to afforestion,though this is a topic for another day. We plant,pray and leave them under the able hands of the Almighty,funny indeed how we celebrate covering a large part of the country by organising the tree planting campaigns all over,but never take our time to rearrange our ideas of refforestation as not how far you can plant but how long can you witness growth of a goal. 

On the 11th December 2021, I personally took part in forest reclaiming activity,ie, Kiambu Forest in honor of slain conservation heroin Joannah Stutchbury, Who died protecting the forest,having been shot at the entrance of the forest. The Cabinet secretary of Environment and Forestry Hon.Keriako Tobiko,was the chief guest and promised to help reclaim the grabbed part of the forest and plant trees all over, over 100 trees were planted that day. On 28th May 2022, I revisited the place,and even carried along friends with the urge to enjoy the view of growth of the planted trees,to my surprise and dissapointment,all the trees dried up,and the land is back nothing much but a maize plantation. I am glad I am even safe,cause very ferosious dogs were unchained to keep us out of the place immediately they realised we were around. 

A view of THE FOREST in Kiriita

The problem is always us,when we accept to do follow-ups,we will go miles in terms of reafforestation. Remember,forests protect our water towers,they prevent soil erosion and landslides, not forgetting they provide shade and also are source of fruits and home for our wildlife,one way we can also eradicate human-wildlife conflict,and also some are a tourist destination,like THE FOREST in Kiriita . I never leave the famous heroin Wangari Maathai's words , " Nature will destroy you before you destroy it." 

by Alexander Kiruga .M 

FIGHTING WATER POLLUTION

 FIGHTING WATER POLLUTION

 

Contaminated water is a major threat among communities throughout Africa. Every hour, an estimated 115 people die in Africa from diseases linked to improper hygiene, poor sanitation, and contaminated water, according to the United Nations Department of Economic and Social Affairs (UNDESA).

What causes Water pollution in Africa?

How can we end water pollution?

Mining being an economic activity, in most African countries, demonstrates a ransom of challenges; Salt and mineral content from mining is often found in large amounts in the continent’s water which has a direct effect on the water’s pH levels. Companies involved in mining have often been criticized but to a deaf ear. Deforestation is another cause, it affects wildlife, climate change, and the climate as a whole. It also causes soil erosion, forcing more soil into water bodies, rivers and lakes, and this has a negative impact on humans, plants and animals who rely on these water sources, that end up  consuming water that is unfit for drinking.

 The use of fertilizers and pesticides in agriculture, causes draining of these chemicals into the water bodies especially when it rains, leading to eutrophication, further contributing to water contamination on our water bodies.

 Many families have to walk for miles to access clean drinking water. Younger girls often have to drop out of school and miss out on getting an education to help their families, as seen in most Northern part of Kenya. Water scarcity, which has been brought about my climate change, deforestation, a cause of water pollution, is becoming now a disaster for the future generation.

The fact that NGOs have been joining hands to help clean up some rivers, is a sign that maintain clean environment is each and everyone’s responsibility. Remember water pollution can cause, poisoning and mortality, diseases such as cholera are spread through water contamination.  Now we are not just preventing pollution of rivers, it has already happened, it is time to treat this disease. The main responsibility of the government in this fight is providing resources used for clean up ,not forgetting that the setting up water treatment areas is a high score for this fight. Article 42 of the new constitution, which states: Every person has the right to a clean and healthy environment.

Wining this fight is everyone’s goal, a fight that Legendary Prof Wangari Mathai flagged off, A fight that Dr Paula Kahumbu took over, A fight that young people took over, like Fionah Njeri, Miss Environment Africa Nazarene University and the young 11year old  Ellyanne who has managed to plant more 1million trees.

It is our fight, It will be our win, I t will be our celebration.

 

by ALEXANDER’S MINDKE.

alexanderkiruga01@gmail.com

+254 745 305656 /  +254 794 642755

 

TRUE LIFE

 Hiding behind a bold face,is a pale heart.

The leaves grow weary,and so does hope. Behind the walls, lust and hate ventures. The glowing rays of winning fading away. Light to dark is the current lifestyle. Across the streets,call them the walking dead. Innocent faces, but guilty souls. The hands are like the chameleon on a leaf. His fate is pinned to the mystery under his mask.  The letters sealed with his blood. His story will just be a fable told to the richkids,to make them sleep. His past is an open book,and a bitter truth to feed his future. He writes to keep his smile alive,but his pen is now out of ink. When you see his pale face,don't fear him, he is living his true life.

©Alexander'sMindKE

THE AFRICAN TORCH

 She hopes to be understood by her own. But in return she receives a blow fist.Her world turned to dark,she only hopes that the moon will light her path. Her heart races for survival, her Mind caged in thoughts of suicidal,but a barrel of future dreams holds her head high.She  turned deaf to all the music from her rear life. She fences her heart with hopes of healing the world,she thirst for a gratitude,and hunger for love. The spots on her face reminds her of the hope she never lost.She trips and on the path where she lifts her relief. The African woman holds it High.She remains to be the African torch! 

MADE OF ROCK

 Behind the door stood a pot,the flowers on the pot were shedding the petals. Why is everything changing? A confused heart would ask.The favourite music, turned into something worse than a lamentation.They seed grew,who watered it with anger?The shoulders I leaned on, had thorns. I have a heart which bleed and never heals.I have a tongue which reads and never lead.The world around me is growing thinner and weaker. Life is turning to an ultimate challenge,a puzzle,that only the strong can solve.Behind the walls,is a city made of blades. A reminder, Our hearts are made of  rock.